I found some episodes of the old Disney Channel show, So Weird, and the one I chose to watch was called "Tulpa"...

( Expanding on the theme of the previous post... )

Oh, and just as a side note, the theme song of So Weird is really, really fitting.

I just watched a documentary about quantum physics, and the idea that our own thoughts and perceptions play a part in shaping the reality around us. It led to an almost random connection between a bit of scientific trivia and a line from a favorite song.

Two surfaces never touch each other. When your foot comes in contact with the floor, the electrons on the surface of your foot are repelled by the electrons of the floor, like two magnets of the same charge, so on a molecular scale you are actually floating above that surface.

Funny how your feet in dreams never touch the earth

It always comes back to the same thing.

Star Trek Voyager episode 164, "Human Error":
Seven of Nine experiences emotions nearing the level of romantic love. Her Borg implants react by almost destroying her. The Doctor says, "regaining one's heart is the biggest step to achieving individuality."

Amusingly enough, there was also a dreamcatcher in that episode.


Anyway, there's one more section of the dream journal left to transcribe. I'll get to it soon, I promise.

Ha ha ha....

see, all I need, to feel good about any ending is the proper resolution.
So Josiah's leaving, and I'll miss playing with him, but our last log... was absolute joy.

Even though he nearly went and broke Song's heart. :p

It's all about that final tone, no matter what is said before. The last thing that passes between two... that is what stays in memory, and defines whether the whole was good or bad.

... of course, it also helps just a little that Song got to kiss him... Just that once~

~

It may not have been perfect, but it was good.

And at least it wasn't good-bye.

Damn. It's always the case. If I stay up past 3 in the morning, I just can't sleep at all.
I only wanted to finish the book I was reading...

I should also not type journal entries after midnight. I have told myself this a hundred times...
but here I go again.

The end of the Calum arc has my mind turning in circles anyway. And more than that, Josiah's imminent departure. It's been more than long enough. I still don't doubt that the game would have been better off ended last year, and I certainly should have held firm in my resolve not to continue either way.

.... but it has been fun, mainly because of Josiah, and I'm going to miss him something awful. Just like I miss Jen (who doesn't want to be called Ryuu anymore, so I won't)

I do selfishly hope that Song gets a chance for a nice long goodbye, though, since I seem to so love the bittersweet.



It is still strange, how much this game has meant to me. I'd like to think it is only because I have so rarely played games of its like, but... that alone can't be enough.

I've been afraid to say it, because of things that have been said to me on the subject, but though I myself do not like the fact, I can't deny that my reactions to this story - the emotions that should only belong to my character - feel real, and always have. Even when that meant feeling nothing.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention one little story from the con. It was during the Masquerade, toward the end. I'd been watching this tall, good-looking Sephiroth. A mean, he did kind of stand out with that silver flag of hair and all... but I'd lost him in the crowd by the time this happened.

While I was standing off to the side being a wallflower, I noticed that everyone near the center of the room was stopping, and moving aside to form a circle. I peaked in to see that the floor had been cleared for Sephiroth and Cloud. I don't know the name of the dance they were doing, but they were both impressively good at it. It was a fast, flashy thing that naturally involved a lot of close dancing (there were cheers at this, of course). It was delightful to watch, even if I'm not crazy about that couple anymore. (there was a time... and it wasn't so long ago...)

But yes. That was by far the best part of the otherwise disappointing ball.

That and having Lexaeus ask me for a dance. The guy looked like Brendan. Big brother teddy bear in an Organization coat.

My internet is down. Again. And has been for the last three days.
I hope nothing horrible happens because Lilith couldn't get that information to me. >_<

It hasn't been so bad, though, because I spent the weekend at Kumoricon. My first major anime convention... That tiny little thing my hometown's college used to host was nothing compared to this.

I did have my doubts, honestly. Waiting in line and trying to weave my way through crowds got old rather fast, as did listening to the ear-splitting squeals of overly excited adolescent fangirls who couldn't pronounce the word "manga" correctly (and I can actually say this without being too much of a hypocrite, because I've always been the Quiet One). Despite all that, though, I did have a pretty good time.

There were a few highlights and anecdotes I'll share, the first of course being the Ryuu encounter.
I already told some of you, but here's the story...
Ryuu had been talking about visiting Portland, and one of the possible times she mentioned for this visit was Labor Day weekend...
Around the same time that she first announced this plan, I found out that my best friend's roommate was having a friend visit from out of state on the weekend of the con. A friend who happened to call herself Ryuu.
I knew it was a long shot, but I couldn't help wondering... so Friday morning I went up to Aurora's apartment and asked if "Ryuu" was there yet. I was led into the bedroom, where I saw a skinny girl asleep on the bed, her face covered by red hair... and for just a moment, I was absolutely sure that it was her.
But no. Instead I spent the weekend in the presence of Ryuu's evil (or possibly good) twin. I have to say, I found the whole thing very amusing.

As for the con itself, while I spent a great deal of it hiding out in the manga library and reading the entirety of Petshop of Horrors (which turned out to be right up my alley...) I did attend the Oyran Host Club tea party and the Girl Genius live radio show. With the artist of Girl Genius voice-acting the main character. Be jealous, Tony. We later went down to the dealers' room and chatted with her for a while. She and Aurora really hit it off. We also have photos of Aurora getting loved on by Maxim the Jager.

Then there was the Masquerade Ball. I made my mask the night before, with no pre-planning, but it turned out brilliantly. I got a lot of compliments and a professionl photographer asking to take my picture.
Unfortunately the ball itself did not live up to my expectations. The sound system sucked, as did half the music. Still, I got several requests for dances. ^^

As for cosplay... I didn't, technically. I hadn't had the time or money to finish the costume Aurora wanted me to wear, but it didn't hurt anything, as she found someone else to be that character. The Ryuu clone, in fact. I just dressed a little exotically with the intent of making people think I was some obscure character they'd never seen before.I even found a new fox tail in the dealers' room that matches my hair color. It looks real, but I've never heard of a golden-brown fox before... either way, my old tail had been getting significantly shorter as it tore in half repeatedly and I had to sew it back together, so I needed a new one.

Oh, and I had really wanted to find a Xemnas cosplayer and ask him what he planned to do when he created his new world, but by the time one finally showed up, I'd forgotten, so all I asked him for was a hug...
He was really sweet, and I'm not just saying that because he was Xemnas, I swear. XP
Sadly he didn't go to the ball.

The internet! It lives!

My internet is down. On top of that, I can't get the playstation to work, and I've already watched almost all the movies in the apartment.

Looks like I'm going to be doing a lot of reading over the next few days.

Speaking of which, I finally finished Dark Tower. I gotta say, I actually approve of the ending, bizarre twist that it was. It worked.
Next on the list is Mercedes Lackey's Obsidian Trilogy. And I have also obtained a copy of the Weirdstone of Brisingamen... those will be some interesting childhood memories to reawaken.

right. Getting off the school computer now before I get kicked off. :p

I believe I told someone at some point that I would record myself dancing sometime.

So I did.

No choreographing whatsoever. Just making it up as I go along... Also, I know the lighting sucks. Pretend it's intentional. :p





And... don't ask what's hidden under my best friend's pretty tapestry. I honestly couldn't answer.

This is very random, but it doesn't seem like I've heard this point made nearly as recently or frequently as I've heard of situations in which it could apply, and I find it an interesting conflict.

If someone dies accidentally and their death provides knowledge which can be used to save other lives, we say they died for a noble cause. But if someone is killed purposefully, against their will, and the result is the same, we say it is immoral to use the knowledge gained because doing so implies that the murderer was in the right.
Morality-wise, it makes sense, but simple logic suggests differently. Using the knowledge still saves lives, no matter how it was acquired. Thus it still gives a purpose to the death of the individual. Murder itself is immoral, even when done in an attempt to save others, but once it's done, it's done. The killer is at fault, but that doesn't make the knowledge any less valid or useful. What's more, if refusing to use that knowledge means the loss of lives that could otherwise be saved, isn't that just as destructive as what the murderer did?

Star Trek Voyager, episode 81: Waking Moments

For anyone who enjoys Trek and has an hour to burn, this episode touches on a few very familiar concepts.

I had a dream about a place that I think I've visited in dreams before, which is rare for me. The first time I remember being with Tony and possibly Devin. This time was with a group of others I don't quite remember, and Elaeus. Only he wasn't really Elaeus, only he was... you know how dreams are.

There is a cave. It's a tiny little crevice, practically a den, and there are a set of tunnels. So small you have to on hands and knees, and most are very short and lead to dead ends or loop back around. One set leads down, one up, But if you flip a switch, a new set opens up in the middle. There is a list of destinations (I read them all, but the only one I remember now is Flight Room), but no direction on how to reach each one. I've only been down one of these, though it feels as if I've visited this place twice. The second time itss because I was showing this Elaeus person, and wanted to go the way I was familiar with.

This tunnel is long, and opens out onto a broad hill. Here there is an entrance to a separate tunnel, and this one leads into a set of rooms. There are shelves on every wall, covered in books and objects, and here's the interesting part. I've been here before, or so it seems, but it was a long time ago, and the overall theme of these rooms is Steampunk. I didn't know that term until recently, so there was no reason for that them to exist here before. though I suppose the basic concept is apparent in stories. Because of something else in the room, I think of Dinotopia.

There are diagrams and models of fantastical flying contraptions, books on science that doesn't exist in this world. (I specifically remember one about a strange, lizard-sized amphibian-humanoid species that evolves from a dinosaur, with grey-blue skin and large horizontal crests on the sides of its heads shaped roughly like fins.)

It's a very fun, relaxing place, clean and full of sunlight, and of course all the books. I wake up, though, before I can go looking for any of the other tunnels.

I'm reading the third volume in the graphic novel sequel to Labyrinth. Of course it won't compare to the original movie, but knowing not to get my expectations that high, I can still enjoy it.

There's this character, Moppet... and it has just been revealed that she is something called an "ablation", created by siphoning off a certain aspect from another being. The original loses that quality while the ablation epitomizes it, meaning that both are incomplete beings. Sound familiar?
It gets even better. Moppet, it just so happens, is the incarnation of Sarah's dreams.

Funny thing about Kingdom Hearts... The major themes, if you look, can be found in any number of other stories. Perhaps that is why it's so powerful.


Edit: Oh, and also, Toby is learning to control and shape the Labyrinth by willpower. By controlling something called the Pathmaker, which is described as the "heart of the Labyrinth". I am further amused.

Edit 2: And then there's ( this )

Edit 3 (yes I'm doing this while I read):... And that poem is directly followed by the lines from the Tempest which begin with, "Now my charms are all o'erthrown, and what strength I have's mine own..."

I'm almost weirded out now.